Dear Younger Fred… 18 years later and...
Last week, Madelaine and you celebrated 18 years together.
18 years!
Where did the time go?
People always tell you life goes fast...
but you won't really know...
I do now.
Fred… you are going to be FAR from the perfect partner... 😂
You'll get things wrong.
You'll be selfish sometimes.
You'll try to solve problems that never needed solving.
But through all of it… you'll grow up together.
You won't just love each other...
You'll make each other better.
So here are 18 things I wish you understood earlier…
1. You don't have to fix every damn thing. Just listen.
This one will take you embarrassingly long to learn. 😂
2. Being right is overrated.
You can win the argument and still lose the moment.
3. Love changes languages.
Sometimes it's flowers. Sometimes it's, "I've got the kids… go take a nap."
4. Never stop dating her.
Comfort is beautiful. Taking each other for granted isn't.
5. Let her change.
The woman beside you in 18 years won't be the woman you met… and she shouldn't be.
6. Let yourself change too.
Growing together doesn't mean growing at the same speed.
7. Don't give her the leftovers.
It's easy to give your patience to everyone else… and bring home what's left.
8. Learn to say "I'm sorry" without "but…"
That little word has ruined a lot of good apologies. 😂
9. The argument usually isn't about the dishes.
You'll figure that one out eventually.
10. Love her the way SHE feels loved.
Not simply the way you like showing love.
11. Protect the friendship.
Laugh. Be stupid. Tease each other. Friendship will carry you through a lot.
12. Marriage isn't always 50/50.
Sometimes she carries 80. Sometimes you do. Don't keep score.
13. Don't save love for special occasions.
Random Tuesday flowers can mean more than the anniversary gift.
14. When you become Mom and Dad… remember Fred and Madelaine.
Those two still need each other too.
15. Say it out loud.
If you think she looks beautiful… tell her.
16. Give each other room to screw up.
Love isn't never disappointing each other. It's finding your way back.
17. Pay attention to the ordinary years.
Family dinners. Grocery runs. Kids everywhere. Dogs everywhere. Doing absolutely nothing together.
One day… those might be the moments you miss most.
18. You don't marry someone who completes you.
You marry someone who sees who your potential…
and keeps challenging you to become better.
18 years later, I still don't have marriage figured out.
Still learning to listen.
Still learning when to shut up. 😂
Still learning to be a better husband.
Maybe that's lesson 19…
A great relationship isn't two people who finally figure each other out.
It's two people who never stop trying to. ❤️
Happy 18 years, Maddy!
I wouldn't want to grow up with anyone else.
Baaaaam — that's it for today!
See you next Thursday.
Stay curious,
Fred
