Dear Younger Fred… forgive yourself for not knowing sooner...
about your career, about your marriage, and eventually about becoming a parent…
Last week, you'll be sitting with your wife and midwife,
preparing for the arrival of your baby.
On the board, you'll notice a small sign:
"Forgive yourself for not knowing earlier
what only time could teach."
It will land heavier than expected.
Because it'll remind you how lost you felt early in your career & life —
quietly comparing yourself to peers, wondering if you picked the right role,
and hoping you were doing all the right things to stay "on track."
You'll replay conversations in your head,
fixate on what you "should've said,"
and assume others had some secret sauce you didn't.
Underneath all of that was one quiet fear:
"Am I enough?"
But here's the truth you'll only learn later:
You couldn't have known then
what only experience could teach.
Clarity comes from being in it —
from the tough clients,
from managers who push you,
and from setbacks that bruise the ego but sharpen the judgment.
You'll feel the same way about becoming a father.
You'll plan everything…
research everything…
and even think,
"Maybe we should've started earlier."
But the honest part of you will admit —
even if you could have,
you weren't ready.
Not emotionally.
Not relationally.
Not in the selfless way parenthood requires.
Only time could've prepared you for that.
Here's the real test, Fred:
If you could go back to 2015
and jump in front of yourself with advice —
would you have listened?
Probably not.
Not because you were stubborn,
but because only time could shape you.
So take the pressure off.
You're not behind.
You're becoming — and you're exactly where you should be.
Baaaaam — that's it for today.
See you next Thursday.
Stay curious,
Fred
